Trends are, by their very nature, short-lived. Sure, there are plenty of staples you’ll always come back to that never go out of style, but those boots that are so “in” right now will be gathering dust come next season. As a self-described lover of all things fashion, I’ve fallen victim to more than a few trends over the years. Gauchos and platform flip-flops? Rocked it. Boot cut jeans? Of course. Scarves as belts? You bet.
There’s not a lot I’ll say no to when it comes to getting dressed in the morning, but as the biggest runway looks start to trickle down into streetwear I have to put my foot down. Sorry, but even with the Balenciaga label I won’t be sliding on a pair of Crocs anytime soon…that one time in seventh grade was enough. Here are the other trends I’ll be skipping this year to save myself (further) embarrassment.
Imagine a world where people are setting aside their totes, clutches, and cross body bags, and strapping on a fanny pack instead. Welcome to 2018, where haute couture and anti-pickpocket technology meet. Some of the biggest names in fashion sent their models onto the runway in the same gear your parents insist on purchasing before a trip to Rome. While I have to admit they had a certain usefulness to them, so do cargo shorts—and those stayed in the early 2000s where they belong.
Low Rise Jeans
Unless your name is Marissa Cooper and you’re planning your next trip to Tijuana, low rise jeans are not the move. There’s a reason high waisted denim has been popular for years: they’re universally flattering! Now we’ll all have to suffer through a full season of looking like extras on One Tree Hill unless you’re willing to commit the faux pas of rocking last year’s jeans. When it comes to this trend, I’ve never been happier to be left in the dust.
I don’t know who decided to award whichever dad was manning the grill at their neighborhood barbecue the title of Best Dressed, but frankly I’m confused. “Ugly” sneakers were the go-to footwear of off-duty models at New York Fashion Week and if their shoes look familiar, it’s because you bought a similar pair of New Balances for your father last Christmas. This trend is a slippery slope, and if you don’t make a stand now you’ll be golfing in mid-calf socks and a visor before you can say, “where’s that fanny pack I ordered?” At least dad sneakers are comfortable for trekking through the streets of Europe while all of your valuables are safely buckled to your hip.
Not even Keanu Reeves is reliving the trend that he himself put on the map when he chose the red pill back in ’99. Sunglasses are my guilty pleasure and while I can usually forgive a less-than-flattering frame, these are essentially glorified swim goggles. Even the Kardashians—the true masterminds behind this craze—could pass for super villains when they put these on. I’ll stick to sunnies that actually block the sun instead, but thanks for the advice Kanye!